Speaking Out-Real Life Stories

8/4/2010

Nothing is more frustrating than feeling like no one will believe you. That's why A Black Rose exists: to provide an outlet for survivors of MST to speak out and show the world that their story is real. This story is from a real survivor who has made the courageous step of sharing their experience. Please be advised that this testimonial contains descriptions of rape, assault, and harassment and has not been edited for any other purpose than to protect the privacy of the survivor.
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I was a Hospital Corpsman, Second Class Petty Officer, stationed in both active and reserve duty units and hospitals. I was raped, subjected to sexual harassment, and refused to be a "sex kitten" for a senior enlisted staff throughout my time I served.

For refusal to submit to these humiliating advances, I was denied entrance into an advanced medical training program, unable to reapply for fear that the same person who did screening interviews would still be on staff at the training site. I was denied transfer to a duty station on my "wish list" as I would not "fill in" for a senior enlisted staff member because his wife "wasn't able to give him sex anymore". My first assignment after Hospital Corpsman training included collateral duty of escorting high ranking military Pentagon staff from one appointment to another at the hospital and I was required to wear my dress blues uniform skirt instead of slacks as "they deserved to be pleasantly distracted during they outpatient visits" at the hospital. My rape involved giving birth to my youngest son while on active duty. I was told "it would hurt my career and also the father of my son if I made a fuss about the whole incident". I struggled until I was about 5 1/2 months pregnant to separate how I felt about my rapist and not cast my feelings onto an innocent unborn child who didn't ask to be brought into this world under those circumstances. I am now 100% disabled as a veteran due to persistent, severe problems with my sexual trauma PTSD. I served active duty, then reserve duty. There are many more service women than myself who have gone through what I did and worse. When will this ever end for us as women in the military?
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Again, we thank this person for being so brave and helping us to draw attention to this issue. If you have a story to share, consider requesting a rose. Your story will only be posted with your express permission, after which it will be posted anonymously. If you do not wish to share any details of your situation, we will still honor your request for a rose.

6 Comments

steve

12/5/2011 09:31:27 am

I have a girlfriend going into the military. It really scares me to think that the likely hood of some type of sexual assault will happen sickens me. I hate to be unsupportive but I wish she would change her mind

ted

1/6/2012 12:21:36 am

Yes I feel the same way. I want to support her but I am terrified what may happen to her.

3/6/2012 05:18:32 am

I thought about joining the military when I was younger, but knew that I would be subjected to this type of behavior. I never knew it was this bad. This is unbelievable. No one who behaves this way should ever be protected, this is criminal behavior and punishable by years of inprisonment in civilian society. These are the narcissists, sociopaths and sexual predators of the world, nothing more. They are the worst of humanity who shouldn't even be in the military. This behavior should be punished even more severely within the military for hurting their own.

TONI

5/21/2013 07:14:03 am

I was assaulted several time by different NCO's, because they all covered for each other. I know that there were several young female soldiers assaulted during the time that i was at Camp Johnson, N.C. in 1978-79. Some of us discussed turning them in. When we finally got the guts to threaten the NCO'S they literally laughed at us and asked us who would listen to a bunch of c----. One staff sargeant actually had male privates and pfc's drive him around while he rode in the back of the car like a pimp. He would scout out white females and try to force them to have his children. He cost me a stripe because i refused to go along with it. Tell your girlfriend to stay home!!!

Trish

9/16/2013 08:51:29 am

My fiancé was to meet me at Love Field in Dallas, TX after his tour in VN. Then we were going to travel to his parents home to announce our engagement. We spent our time away from one another writing letters daily.
About two weeks before he was supposed to arrive, his letters stopped. I tracked down his Dad through the base locator as he was stationed at another base. His Father told me he this was his first day back from having buried "Michael". I was so upset, I started bawling, and hung up the phone while I was on duty. It was almost the end of the day, I sucked it up until I left. I got back tot he barracks and changed and went across the parking lot to the EM Club. I had a few drinks and was talking to a guy that I knew only by his first name from having danced with him often at the EM Club. I talked and cried about the days events, and he offered to walk me to the Chapel so we could pray. It was right around the corner from the barracks, and I was so grateful to have someone's support at this time. When we went into the Chapel he shoved me down in to the floor in the back and rapped me, again and again. I was crying about Michael and at the same time telling him to stop. I woke sometime later and found him gone, I was alone. I lit all of the candles (I'm not Catholic), I just wanted it to all go away. That morning I showered, dressed, and went to work. I didn't tell anyone anything other than that Michael had died. I had forgotten all of these years until I started thinking about the impact of Michael's death, and told that a fiancé dying was not "go enough" for PTSD. But it had hung on to me like an overwhelming weight for 40 some years.
I found one of my WAC Sisters through the internet that I had served with and we started talking. Then it came back to me all of the events of the day that I found out that Michael died........it was if we both died on that day. It still hurts, I can't talk about it, that part of me died.

Mel

9/17/2015 05:26:21 am

I am so sorry for your hurt...and pain. I hope you can "live" again. So sorry about Miichael also

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